hi.. well.. many things had happened this week and well.. many.

yesterday was patricia's bdae and it really was a bash! we 'surprised' her with gifts and cake and she treat as with a very entertainin performance.. she's really very funny and mr tan said tt she would huv done well if she went for yong yan bu bai.. haha. the whole class was so entertained by her and i'll take my hats off for her..

hockey competitions have also started and we had our first match with sajc on thurs. we lost 1-0 durin the first half and well.. we'll huv to win the rest of the matches.. and i noe we can! even though im not playin, i hope tt they'll do well!! i huv faith with the gals.. all the hard work they've put in will not be wasted.. hee.

almost all the sports team in sch are huvin the 'A' division competition... i wish them all the best!! hockey, basketball, netball, tennis, badminton, bowling, volleyball(even though i dun even noe or see anyone of them b4..but i like volleyball!) and etc if they're goin for any competition. im so happy for the basketball guys. they won the first match=first victory for pjc! haha.. we were hopin tt hockey girls can win the girls team's first victory but well.. we fought well..

there are so many birthdays this month and i think im gettin quite broke.. the rest of the week past by as usual.. nth special.. it'll be sch again within less than 48hrs.. haiz.. nvm.. at least i get to see faces i like in sch! haha!

there'll be church tml and well.. it's the same routine every day.. just tt there's no children choir tml.. i was thinkin of doin the midnight mass this yr.. but it seems like im not gettin alot of support from ppl whom i thought they would and well.. it's quite disappointing.. well.. just hope tt everything will go on smoothly..

anyway.. i really dunno what to blog already.. so seeya ppl.. till then do we meet..


~wishing the best for the cherished ones..~

ok.. haven been bloggin cuz nth to blog. as simple as tt.. :p.. the week has come and gone so fast tt i can hardly catch it.. was supposed to go church on thur.. however, my parents suddenly had to attned to a job and we end up not gg to church... went for the fri one.. good fri which is. the mass was a very long one.. kneel and stand kneel and stand.. ok.. not tt im complainin ok.. tried studyin in the afternoon and well.. sth did went in lor.. haha.. had tuition this mornin at my cousin's place.. did trigo.. completed the whole thing, but i huv hw to practice.. haha.. hope tt my confidence for math will come back soon.. hee.

tml's easter sunday and there's children choir.. im not quite lookin forward for children choir tis time as i've not pract wif them yet last week.. haiz.. hopefully, everything goes well.. i dun care how ppl think.. just tt the kids will be praisin god in their own way.. it's as sweet..

im hopin tt this children choir will be able to continue and gain support from the church and im hopin tt they'll be ready to sing for xmas mass this yr.. every yr, it's the same 10.30pm choir singin and i hope, i hope, that this yr might be abit diff, of cuz, provided the parents approve, tt the children can sing for the mass.. plannings will huv to come in soon as i'll huv to discuss wif the others and meet the parents for their views.. usually durin dec season, many ppl go abroad... haha.. will talk about this in due time.. hee.

will be stayin up till quite late today.. hopefully i can last.. :p.. went to plaza sing to get some items but i cant get everything... aarrgghh!!!! nvm.. i'll change the plans abit.. haiz... k la.. think my family gg for dinner in malaysia later.. so.. seeya!


~everything has a value of its own..~

hi ppl.. im back from the malaysia trip.. wat can i sae about it? hmm.. it's enjoyable, refreshing and the experience was as good as usual.. haha.. this might be quite a boring post for u.. just a re-cap of wat happened..

went into malaysia on fri night, had dinner at a zi char store b4 proceeding back to my grandparents place.. it was about 2hrs journey back to the kampung which is somewhere inside johor.. in the town call kluang and it's a kampung within kluang call kahang! it's definitely one of my favourite place! we reached the place at ard 12 midnight.. my grandparents were still waiting for us and my cousins were awaitin for us to! haha.

not all the cousins were present this time for qing ming.. but my good buddies cum cousins were there.. haha.. one of them is of the same age as me and the other is younger.. which is y we often clique together whenever we go back to visit our grandparents.. it's my mother's side family.. my lil bro will go mix wif the other cousins who are around his age.. im the eldest in the ranking of cousins in the family and my youngest cousins have not even reach the age of 1 yr old.. makes me feel so old.. by the time i get married and huv kids, i think these cousins are only in their teenage yrs.. hopefully by then we'll still be in contact.. our only contact is only when we go back for festive seasons and becuz im living in singapore, it makes it quite hard to meet up wif my aunts and cousins who are living in johor(nearer to singapore part)..

ok.. back to fri.. my two cousins and i took one of the rooms available and we started chattin through the night! haha.. actually it's only me and the cousin hu's of the same age as me.. jing yi. her sister jing ai is more quiet and well, im more closer to jing yi lor.. haha.. we talked about how life was goin for us and both of them have boyfriends.. in between when we were talkin, u can expect the phone to ring or msg ringtone once every few minutes.. not tt i mind but hmm.. ok.. nvm.. we were suppose to be aslp as we are suppose to be awake by 6am.. haha.. both me and jing yi only fell asleep at ard 2+am.. haha.. i was the latest to slp and the earliest to wake up.. cuz i dun wanna create a jam for the toilet.. haha. considerate rite. =p..

we reached the cemetry at abt 7+am and went to my great great grandfather's grave first.. i was told alot of stories of my ancestors and they were interesting.. and it was told tt actually this grave is already empty.. it was being moved from another grave to the grave in this kampung.. we did all the necessary prayings and offerings were made.. it was quite interesting.. very diff from the experience we have in singapore.. thn, we proceeded to the grave of my great-grandparents... we had to clear the grave from weeds and zha cao.. and the same continued.. oh.. and there was oso this prayin whereby my grandfather threw two coins to ask if the food can be removed or sth like tt.. it was quite interestin to see this being done.. and, with so many 'gamblers' among the family.. we decided to ask for numbers! haha! in order, my grandfather was first, followed by his brother, thn my grandma and my granduncle's wife.. well.. the number did open.. but the first and second number was interchanged.... hmm..haiz...

for the rest of the day, went for breakfast, slack ard, i went to take a nap.. haha.. really cannot take it... was damn tired.. haha.. jing yi came in thrice to disturb me.. it was rainin and it was so good to slp.. and in the end.. i woke up... wanted to go motorbiking.. but my lil bro and his clique took all the bikes available and none was left for us.. so.. didn get to fulfil this part which i wanted to.. haiz.. nvm.. i can do it next time.. it was quite relaxin stayin the house and chat..

and i ate alot! haha.. and shitted alot too.. tt's y my stomach had so much room for more.. =p.. ate the famous toast too.. but didn get to eat the roti prata in the mornin.. nvm.. for dinner, it was my grandma's special and delicious cookin! i really love her cookin and her soup! im always lookin forward for the home cooked dishes whenever i go back.. haha.. after tt, nth much really happened.. just more talkings and craps and photo takin wif my cousin..she bought a new phone recently.. n70.. hmm..

today, there's no children choir pract.. im sort of quite upset about it.. huv been lookin forward for it all mth.. haiz.. nvm.. but i guess there's still children choir singing next week..

i think im huvin a split personality too.. haiz... im still searching.. for love, care, trust..etc.. and me.. the post is kinda gettin longer and i think i should be goin back to study..


~split personality.. happy. sad.~

well.. there might be some hope tt i can still be registered for the nationals.. provided... there's alot of conditions taggin wif it.. i'll through about it over again this weekend...

i'll be headin to malaysia tonight for the qing ming... will be back by tml.. so dun miss me..

huv been cryin again in sch.. need not hide ya.. u guys huv eyes.. anyway.. i'll huv to be committed in the things i've decided to do.. maybe i still noe tt im someone hu doesn like to admit to lose.. i'll prove to everyone tt they'll wrong and i can make it.. i noe i can.

meanwhile.. i'll enjoy myself wif the motorbike rides in malaysia in the woods and open country.. it's so... free. what am i thinkin and wat i wanna do, i dunno. i just want to do watever tt comes to my mind.. even though i noe tt in reality i've to be organised.. there r still things which i look forward to.. there r.. i dunno wat to blog now actually.. hmm.. ok.. so i'll be leavin for now.. bye..


~hopes awaiting..~

HOW I WISH THAT HOCKEY CAMP HAS NEVER ENDED..

just when i get to noe the team better.. im out of it already.. met principal on mon and i was rather agitated.. im not allowed to play for the nationals and well.. i dunno i should be even continuin hockey or not.. huvin the common test re-test right now and i've bio tml.. i dun think i'll do well but think can pass.. feelin damn sad for the past 2 days.. huv been cryin like i nvr did in my whole life and huv been doin some serious considerin for my life.. i think i'll choose to continue one my j2 life and i noe tt i'll huv to put in much more effort so as to catch up and learn the new stuffs as well as revisions.. i dun wanna end up like vincent.. im sorry..

there's a few grp of ppl whom i really dunno how to face each day.. first, the canoein team.. i feel rather weird when i join u guys in the mornin.. it's as if im not wanted there.. w/o u ppl sayin it, i can actually feel it.. anyway.. i understand this type of behaviour as u guys huv already not consider me as part of the team.. some of u still do and im really grateful for tt.. u noe hu u r and well.. maybe i've not known u guys as well as i thought.. i felt quite disappointed some times..

the next grp is the hockey girls team.. i noe tt u ppl still treat me as part of the team and i really appreciate it.. however, i'll still feel some emptiness as u guys huv already been there for almost a yr while i just join recently.. wat's worst, i wun be trg wif u ppl for the nationals anymore.. it brings tears to my eyes everytime i thought of it.. i told myself tt i could do it, supportin the team in other ways, but sometimes i felt helpless.. i'll be cheerin my lungs out for u guys durin this season and i wish u ppl all the best..

since i've entered jc life.. i once thought tt i huv alot of frens and i could go to anyone whenever i like.. i nvr like being stuck to one grp and hence i guess, the friendship being build up within such grps huv became stronger with or without me.. i've always thought tt i was a key figure in any grp i belong to and a special someone who can contribute.. i'm still searchin for the long lost me.. the drum major, vice-president, filled wif leadership and confident me.. issit really tt hard to find?? maybe i've not been cryin for the past few yrs of my life.. in fact i hardly do.. which i guess is the case y i get welled up easily nowadays..

i huv so many ppl to thk in my life tt i'll nvr ever forget u ppl... as i approach becomin 18 this yr... i promise to find tt real joanna back.. but im not sure which is the real me..

i actually dunno wat im bloggin and im just typin my heart out.. it sounds like a last letter b4 i suicide though.. haha.. ok.. im fine.. im just jokin..

there are still things which im lookin forward in my life and there are still things which make me proud of myself and happy. pure happy. without any negative thoughts or too deep thinkin. i guess maybe as i grow up, i tend to think more and sometimes even too complicated.. i hate my parents naggin at me all the time and when the nag for stupid reasons or associations.. i hate it when they associate the things i do to the grades i get or the person i become.. this is wat low education leads ppl to.. it's right to pursue education but u must noe what u want.. im still searchin for wat i wan and im kinda fickle minded.. i hate to be tied down and i wan a job which i dun work at all=im huvin fun. tt'll be pure happiness and joy for me.. but i noe in this reality, in this world.. such things hardly happen..

but i do believe in miracles... im so lucky and glad tt i huv a faith which i follow and at least my direction in life is not too aimless.. i noe tt there's someone there to lead and guide me and maybe im just waitin for the call..

if u ppl find tt this post is too confusin or complicated.. simply just ignore it. i realise tt this is a good source to vent out frustrations..


~in life, it will always make you choose. know what you want and work towards it. there's alot of path in life, choose the one which your gut feeling tells you.~

it's been a week and it's really a very eventful one... got back the results for common test and i didn do well.. 3 Fs and C for gp... anyway.. i'll be seein the prinicipal tml wif my dad.. haiz..

just ended the hockey camp today and it was damn fun.. it started on fri and there was a friendly wif ijc.. we won! 2-0!! finally we win a game.. hmm.. there's great improvement in the team.. but.. i think i wun be playin much durin the game season.. im not good enough.. many factors contributed to this and i feel damn useless.. had a talk wif ms ho and i thank her so much for listenin.. i noe it's unlikely tt i'll be the top 11 but i'll support the team in other ways.. i'll still continue to improve my skills and well.. hopin for the best for everyone..

the camp was really very fun.. it's the first all girls camp i've ever attended and well.. it's very diff and 'bitchy'!! haha.. was bitchin ard wif juliet, jasmine and the rest.. ahha... damn fun! i really like this team alot and i think i'll definitely stay on even if i wun be playin much... i'll do the supportin role and hope tt the team will not look down on me in wat im doin.. i need alot of assurance now.. hee.

juliet, jasmine, jocelyn, joyce, jin er, rachael.. thank you for being there.. always makin me laugh out like crazy!! hehe.. im really very happy and fortunate to noe u ppl.. im so happy tht our paths crossed... hee.. i wonder where i'd be if i had not noe u guys.. hee.

it feels like tml's sun for me.. im damn tired.. ran alot, work out alot durin the camp.. but ate alot too! haha.. anyway durin camp.. the bbq nite, there was a performance by a few gals and it was so funny and entertainin! the 'thrash gals', jasmine, juliet and rachael really did a fantastic job! the rest of the gals too! well done! rachael was crown the pjc hockey girls queen! haha.. watch a video b4 tt and the show was quite nice.. there was a boy doin some action which is so cool tt it might be a dance for our hockey b4 we do any whacks or start of game.. okok... gtg now.. seeya!!


~know what you want and work hard for it..~