ok.. few days nvr post liao.. miss me rite.. hehe.. studyin now la.. couldn get pay yesterday.. think i'll get it next week lor.. after my exams.. very scare leh.. i must pass at least one subject.. cant afford to fail.. haiz..

on sun.. went to do cip for blood donation drive.. it's quite interestin.. the way the ppl work.. was oso surprised by the number of ppl who turn up to donate blood.. thought no one would come lor.. thn.. went home after tt and found tt there was no one at home la.. but the door was not locked!! and my bro's chickens were runnin all over outside the house.. shit alot oso.. made the house so smelly and filled with shit.. and the problem is no one is at home why let the chickens out.. dots!!
didn went to church either.. so.. ermm.. oops.. *secret*..

on mon.. nth much happened.. tried to study abit.. watch the lions for soccer.. was quite happy when they scored 1-0 at first.. but after tt.. indonesia oso scored.. so.. the lions no chance le.. i thought by rankin at 6th was not bad.. but... ( cant post wat i initially typed.. later get sued or wat i very scared..) heehee..
really wanna congratulate singapore for the medals we got so far.. i think more medals comin in from sailin, table tennis and swimmin.. wee!!

on tue.. went to ubi to get pay.. but then when we reached there.. there was no one in the office.. think we called kris abit late.. so..there's some details... cant sae la.. *secret*.. i seem to huv alot of secrets.. haha.. went home.. slack while.. watch the telecast for sea games.. the track and field and swimmin.. was holdin my breath for the swimmers.. they are good lor.. haha..love them.. how come sea games no canoein one..i thought the rowin was canoein..but heard from my fren it was back rowin.. hehe..

i miss canoein alot.. haiz.. nvm.. i'll huv my chances soon enough.. good luck and jia you to pjc canoeist.. ENDURE!!! ok.. i noe im not in any position to ask u all to do tt la.. but just my thoughts tt u all will jia you.. i noe u all miss me oso.. haha.. rubbish i noe... dun even think u all will read my post.. if anyone do.. just drop comments lor.. long time no see u all le.. noe tt u all are gettin more and more fit.. dark and stunnin.. hehe.. k la..

no more camps in dec.. so.. abit sian oso.. only can look forward for the children's choir.. but think it'll oso not be wat i had in mind.. anyway.. all the best for everyone..



~sometimes.. you feel that you can trust a person but it turns out otherwise.. this shows that you should be clear who you are handling before putting trust in him or her.. basically.. think before you act..~

went for ms tan's funeral wake yesterday and went for ms catherine lee's weddin today.. ironic eh..

anyway.. went wif lichong, changhong, eugene lee and eerong.. met brian johan and gang there.. it's really very ironic and queer.. the wake was sort of like a gathering for all assumptionites and the weddin was oso like a gatherin.. weird.. haha.. anyway.. after the weddin.. went to town to meet gene and jian wei.. went to buy watch... anyway.. it's cheap.. then we toured at the wheelock for awhile b4 gene and jian wei left..

this is really a small world... drea's fren was smilin at her when we passed nydc and she said there was oso another who was smilin at me.. we thought who was it.. hmm.. so.. we when we went back.. i got to see who it was.. it was dorcas.. from pjc rugby.. haha.. isn't this world small or wat... sherry, a camp instructor whom i met, is a good fren of cecilia and course fren of gene.. haiyo.. this singapore damn small lor..

sian.. i wanna do more camps... haiz.. haven get pay oso.. re-exams comin up.. haiz.. the 'A' levels finish le.. congrats to all who completed.. huv fun k.. cant wait for dec to arrive.. of cuz after my re-exams lor.. hehe.. k la.. tml got cip.. blood donation drive.. those who wanna donate blood.. pls come and support.. oops.. hehe.. so long..

watched harry potter today.. as usual the grp i was with.. i was the extra.. only gal.. anyway.. the show was ok la... not very bad.. but alot of the story was cut away.. the show oso wasnt as wat i'd expected to be.. not as nice as i thought.. had dinner after tt and went home.. my re-exams are comin in two weeks or one week and im very afraid.. dunno wats the future for me like.. still waitin for the dream guy.. dots.. i noe..

congrats to my cousin zhong zhong on his psle score.. a pro and a genius one in our home.. he got 1 A* and 3 As.. aggregate of 253.. isn't he clever or wat.. haha.. proud of him.. really.. okok.. can only get my pay next tue.. so.. im broke.. lol.. seeya..

anyway.. i just dun understand y some ppl just cant stay wif their own life and not meddle wif others.. they simply like to cut and paste from others and make enemies out of fren.. anyway.. true frens are faithful enough not to fall for it..

went for aes exco meetin tis afternoon wif gene, drea and hwi bee.. we were the only alumnis.. the way they do things really diff from us.. maybe there's generation gap.. after tt, grace joined us and we went to al-almeen for dinner wif ziqi and ms lee..

the dreadful news.. ms tan choh hoon, my lower sec form teacher had passed away tis mornin.. she was a fighter i suppose.. through her battles against the illness.. i really thk ms tan alot for wat she had given and inspired us.. we'll miss her very much.. well.. we went to lavender s'pore casket at first for wake but only when we reached there, we noe tt there was no room for the wake tonight so we had to wait till tml after 12pm.. the funeral will be on sat.. for those who wish to go for the wake and sees my blog.. the above are the details..

anyway.. as ms lee fetch us home.. the five of us.. ms lee, drea, grace, nette and me.. haha.. had a nice talk.. nette is as crappy as usual..

it makes me think tt the earth is very small.. maybe only singapore.. cuz my pri sch good fren could actually be one of nette's good fren now.. cecilia's good fren is oso one of the instructors i knew through camp and she's oso gene's fren.. isn't it small or wat.. there's always surprises no matter wat..

we'll nvr noe wat will happen to us anytime, anywhere.. disaster might strike anytime.. do watever u wanna do most now.. cherish the time now.. tell the person how dearly u love him or her now b4 u lose the chance to do so..

anyway... enough crappin le.. i really hope and i noe tt ms tan is now safe and back home wif God and i noe she'll always look over us.. may she rest in peace too.. nites..

ermm.. another day has passed.. and i've not yet touch my books for two days.. anyway.. it's enjoyable today at plaza.. huvin lunch wif jan zhao nurul and teng.. crap ard alot and haha.. was enjoyable.. went to shop ard.. then went home.. came home.. did nth much as usual.. then it was night time le.. a long rainy day.. wet and cold.. turn on the comp.. had to plan for tis weekend.. gg for meetin tml for sec 1 camp orientation.. see how issit tml lor.. hmm..chatted wif a few frens.. rather enjoyable.. cant wait for more camps to come.. but my re-exams are oso comin.. hope it'll faster end.. this weekend is rather busy for me.. there's cip for blood donation drive on sun.. we'll see about it.. weird.. okok.. back to chattin le.. bye..

well.. watchin harry potter now.. hmm.. nth happen much today.. i practically slept through the whole day.. still quite tired.. haha.. tml will study..

well.. i guess there will be no camps this week ba.. didn receive any msg.. anyway.. if ms catherine lee sees this blog, i like to congrats her on her weddin..

we're goin to watch harry potter this fri.. maybe should go on thur.. cheaper.. haha.. anyway.. they sae tt it's nice.. lookin forward to it.. wee!!!

ok.. it's sunday.. once again this week.. didn get to see tt tan guy.. haiz.. nvm..anyway.. had the children's choir meetin today and well.. the kids can sing.. haha.. real nice and sweet too.. intially wanted to go play badminton wif regina and her frens.. but in the end.. she told me tt they could not get a place.. so.. didn go.. went home and slack.. haha.. watched tv and laze ard.. nth much today.. thn it's near end of day le.. anyway.. it's like a source for me to rest and charge up for my next camp.. haha.. cant wait for more.. but.. also huv to study for my re-exam.. if only i passed my promos.. thn now can do watever camps i wan.. anyway.. it's over so i just huv to study for it... so tt i can go for more camps after the exams.. haha.. pullin alot ppl into camps.. and till thn.. bye bye..

yoz everyone.. two days since i've blog.. im quite in a daze mode now.. haha.. on thur..we went to wei teng's house to make brownies.. haha.. was successful.. and nice.. i felt tired after tt and went for a bath at her house.. her dog, a collie, name chichi(wrong nvm la hor) very cute.. and fun to play wif.. watched madagascar and after tt i left to meet eugene to get his pouch.. mine was too small for camp..

after tt, went to cityhall ctrl stn to meet the other camp instructors for camp briefin.. i was quite nervous as i dun really noe anyone from this batch of camp instructors.. was abit funny as i stood there w/o knowin who to meet haha.. but luckily.. abbe and zack came and i was not tt lost le.. hehe.. met hid, rass and other instructors.. had our briefin at the 'break dance' zone and the briefin begins.. it ended at ard 9 plus and i was already very tired.. went home wif hid and rass by train and i reached home only ard 11plus.. and we had to report to the sch next mornin by 8.30am.. it was a sch at the east side.. poi ching pri and it's at tampines!! so far for us west side ppl lor.. haha..

woke up at 5.30am and met hid at clementi at 6.45am.. rass join us a few stn after and there we go to tampines.. the three of us had breakfast at macdonald's and join dennis, gerrard, alwin and other instructors at the ctrl stn at 8.00am.. as most of us do not come from tis part of singapore.. we had to find our way to the sch.. went to take the bus and had to wait for the bus driver to give us the signal for our stop.

we had to set up everything and by 10.30am, the camp begins.. we are handlin a bunch of pri 6 students and i can tell u tt they are very diff from who we had used to be.. meanin.. they're diff from us.. my grp was relatively ok but oso had an accident in my grp.. details ermm.. come find me la.. the whole day, we had activities and in the evenin, we set up the campfire and preparation of it begins.. the kids had their dinner at a later time and we did campfire songs instead.. the fire was not too bad la.. some hiccups though.. however.. the climax very anti.. haha.. the kids well.. no comments here but when the it was almost over.. thank goodness i felt rather happy.. haha.. parents were waitin for their kids and these kids were still very hyper..

this is my first camp ever to take pri sch kids and the experience is well.. ok bah.. haha.. after campfire.. we had to do area cleanin and by the time we finished, it was 10 plus.. went to the interchange to take train and we're a step closer to home..

dennis, hid, rass, sherry and me the 5 of us went back to west side together and well.. i was the last one to drop off.. at cck.. haha.. really enjoyed myself but oso quite shag even though it's a 1 day camp.. haha.. slept at only 1am and had to wake up by 6am today to go for the retreat..

me and regina went to serangoon gardens to find the church of St Francis Xavier but we keep goin the wrong way.. we actually went to the wrong side of the road and it was very terrible.. we walked a great distance and i was already very tired...

the talk.. well.. ermm.. didn really enjoy cuz dun really like it.. huv a feelin of being brainwashed.. haha.. saw alphonsus, whom i played a weddin mass with last yr but i dun think he recognises me.. he was the speaker for the first talk regardin organs.. well.. n.o.m.b.. haha.. saw my pri sch teacher mr monteiro.. didn call him.. no chance to..

so nvm.. me and regina decided to leave after the tea break and we're off by 11am.. haha.. she went back to slp while i went home to get my books to study wif gene and jian wei at ngee ann poly.. was really off mode le.. the two of them went for run after studyin and i went home.. really shag... aaarrrgghhh!! haha... but cant wait for the next camp.. haha.. really wanna do more.. wee!!! okok.. now.. i'll go check mail le.. seeya..

p.s. pai seh.. today quite long post.. haha..

wah.. the book which im readin now, 'secrets', is a good book of cuz.. but i think i can predict alot of things lor.. since the beginnin of the book.. i predicted the whole plot of the book and since readin.. my predictions are right.. i think im too imaginative le.. tt's y.. anyway, i'll still read on and noe about the happy endings.. should be doin some math soon or i'll be quite busy over the wkends over camps and retreats.. haha.. cant really wait for it to come though.. hehe.. for now.. tt's it..

well.. whoever is the poser.. i dun care.. just stop the childish act.. anyway.. i've been able to do some math and have been readin the whole day.. the book 'secrets' is well.. quite better than 'a man to call my own' and it's thicker too..

i really admire Lesley Pearse.. her books are good la.. i read her first book 'father unknown' and was hooked on to her books.. it's very amazin cuz the way she writes, makes me like im one of the character yet im only a bystander.. maybe i huv very good imagination la.. cuz i happen to be very emotional and would cry if the story is touchin.. tt's y i sae i admire this author.. her writings got the power to make me cry.. haha..

anyway, im confirm doin the pri sch camp tis fri.. huv being waitin.. and i've got it.. haha.. i wun ask for much.. and i might..might get to go m'sia camps one day.. right now.. i'll just do any camps i singapore lor.. ermm.. still cant figure out where's the sch.. hehe.. ok.. go readin liao..

i think someone is tryin to be funny in my blog and changhong's blog.. come on la.. dun childish.. use other ppl's name then anyhow type things.. such a childish act lor.. damn bo liao ok..

well.. op presentation went on fine today.. but kena quite a difficult qn from mr ang.. think i answer not really right lor.. nvm.. it's over.. really felt like slpin durin op today..

as i was leavin the sch.. i called my mom and she told me i was allowed to go for camps!! im damn happy la!! only in singapore i oso dun mine.. camp leh.. i finally can go lor.. i've been waitin for so long already.. finally.. haha.. damn happy..i was on cloud nine lor..

thn.. i went plaza to buy mos burger for me and vincent.. i saw my old tuition teacher.. i dun think he recognises me.. but he was wif his gf and she damn tall lor.. taller than him leh.. ok.. no comments.. haha.. well.. nth much lor..

after lunch.. initially i decided to go for run.. but.. vincent wanted me to go farmart wif him.. so i obliged.. ermm.. at the road junction.. we actually met a man who stopped us cuz he suspected tt he was bitten by a hornet and asked if we could lend him some money to go see doctor.. i was quite surprised tt vincent actually gave him the money, $10 and well.. he doesnt even mind if tt person does not return.. ok... we reached farmart by cab and he started workin..

cleanin cages, feedin the animals.. etc.. i didn do much.. only help look after the shop while he and another man were doin all the stuff behind the shop.. got bitten by dunno wat flies lor..

anyway.. as i was tendin the shop.. i was lookin at the baby birds in the cage.. i saw tt one was like practically always on one corner of the cage and i saw like sth red on the wire mesh.. i confessed tt im guilty for not tellin the two guys cuz when they saw it later.. tt poor bird actually got the wire mesh being poke through it's lower beak.. ouch.. no wonder it was always at tt position and could not move to somewhere else.. it's constant tuggin oso cuz it's wound to get even bigger.. when they got it out from the wire mesh.. there was actually a big hole lor.. haiz.. poor thing.. vincent put some antiseptic powder on its wound and man.. i think it's damn painful lor.. imagine u'r bleedin and someone put antiseptic over the wound.. ouch..

ok.. tt was sth interestin which happen at farmart.. for now.. rest time..

canoeing..

damn.. i really wanna go back.. current situation.. canoeing gets to keep almost everyone for the competition next yr.. but.. previously after the promos.. only 8 selected carried on trg.. now everyone can go back le.. how's everyone thinkin.. im not sure..

i really love this sport and when i was on the brim of being forced to quit by my parents.. canoein got closed down by sch.. at tt moment i felt tt it was wat God wanted me to do.. he save me from makin tt horrible decision which i couldn't decide to do. i didn wan to go against my parents.. since young.. i've tried very hard not to go against them.. it's no use anyway.. they'll huv lots of reasons to counter argue u.. i cant blame them.. their qualifications are not even comparable to mine.. ok.. im bad.. i just cant make them understand tt wat im goin through now is not wat they've went through.. i love doin outdoor stuff.. i love doin camps.. canoein.. all the sports u can name.. but they feel it's dangerous.. just because no one in our family apart from me is doin it.. and they're very much protective of me because im a A- blood type.. so what.. parents aside.. i've been doin alot explainatios to all those i've known..

next.. i've not been goin for trgs for quite a period.. i noe tt my physical strength and all has deproved alot.. everyone might sae tt u can train it back.. put more effort and u'll improve.. it's easier to be said then done.. right from the beginnin.. i've put in alot effort.. and manage to finally reach everyone's pace abit.. just abit.. the feelin of being laggin behind really sux.. and it's not tt i've not put in enough effort.. everybody else is also puttin in effort and improvin.. the feelin of being the burden.. slowin others down when runnin... even though it's not everytime.. but it just so happens at times.. constant encouragements is good.. but as time pass and everyone's improvin and unable to recognise ur effort.. u can feel the frustrations of ur teammates and ur partner.. partner.. maybe some might sae tt it can be overcome...yes.. it can be overcome i believe.. im very sensitive of how ppl feel about things and maybe im thinkin too much.. everyone in the team wans to win.. tt's for sure... i wanna win too.. i would do anything to stay in canoein.. but im afraid of the consequences..

im not sure why im bloggin this.. but.. im very confused about it.. if im to go for trg..maybe not water.. the land part.. i would feel abit outcast.. though im sociable enough to go joke and fool ard.. ultimately i dun feel tt i belong.. last time yes.. but for now.. im not sure.. the ppl whom i thought i noe i dun think i noe them anymore.. it's sad.. i hate makin such decision..

there's no conclusion yet.. i cant think of wat i wan.. but wat i feel.. partly.. or mostly.. it's up here.. so.. well.. canoein..

tag got problem..

i think the tagboard got prob.. cannot tag.. sorry for all who wanted to tag but couldn't tag too... haiz.. nvm.. i'll get it done soon k!!

didn got to see him..

ok..it's sun today.. yesterday i was readin the book 'a man to call my own' and even when i reached home.. i read it through the night.. ermm.. extravagatin abit.. only up till 2.30am.. completed a book of 427 pgs in just 4-5 hrs.. haha.. i think im crazy lor.. anyway.. it was a nice book.. but thn.. think i was quite drowsy le.. so.. only noe the main point of the story.. the detail parts r quite blur now.. hehe..

woke up ard 9am today and could hear my mom screamin at my lil bro for not gettin ready for tuition class.. went to church for 10.30am mass and well.. i've to go twice today cuz got first holy communion mass and i promise regina to accompany her.. i whack my flute part almost for everything i played.. hehe..

ermm.. ya.. as the title suggests.. i didn got to see the tan guy i used to look out for today.. hmm.. guess he didn come church bah.. hehe.. saw regina and her bf so sweet.. and i've been readin alot of novels lately.. make me feel like wanna huv a bf lor.. but nvm.. let everything take it's on course.. let fate decides.. haha.. anyway im not in need of bf anyway.. i've got my fabulous frens!!!

anyway.. im slackin now.. tml got op presentation again.. so.. stop here for now.. maybe come by later..

till then.. to all.. follow where ur heart leads u and u might feel happier to do so..

hehe..thks for all to view my blog.. maybe i should huv a reception for all soon.. haha..jkjk.. anyway..today..it's quite a fruitful day la.. watch the movie 'sky high'..ok..

in the mornin.. i could actually slept for longer period but however.. i was disturbed by my aunt's alarm clock twice.. and by her loud fartin in the middle of the night.. ok.. nvm.. was quite used to it le..

thn.. could not get back to slp..was 9am... mummy thn said we're to go out to pay bills and go library.. we're off and i was dressed for the outin in the afternoon.. had lunch at clementi hawker centre and went to lot 1 library.. got two fabulous books.. quite interestin..

'a man to call my own' and 'secrets'

ok.. the title i noe.. abit girly..but it's nice lor.. anyway..thn my mom they left cck and dump me alone to wander myself while waitin to meet the guys..

as usual.. im the extra one when we went out as i was the only gal among the six of us.. drea and crystal could not join our movie trip so left, li chong, gene, jianwei, changhong, shannon and me.. met lichong and shannon thn we left to meet the rest..

went to far east first as shannon wanted to go surrender.. but..they were huvin reception so we left for movies.. initially..we wanted to go cine..but.. time was limited and we decided to watch sky high instead of tom yum goong.. so we went lido instead as we oso didn noe the timeslot..

the movie.. hmm.. was quite funny.. and predictable.. the beginnin climax was tt the hero..could actually kill the villian wif only a blow.. then took off the head.. damn lame lor.. well..$9.50 wasted.. haha..

changhong left after the movie and we went to wisma as lichong was meetin his family there.. the rest of us... four of us.. thn went to taka and takeaway food.. went to the open area to eat.. i went home after tt though.. trip home was quite long..

nth funny happened today.. so.. this post quite borin.. ermm.. i wanna slp in a cold room. my air con is not only for 25 degree celcius.. dunno wat my aunt thinkin.. damn hot la.. sian..i'll go change it later...

where to start..

thks for all those who helped me in this blog..
well.. ermm.. im not sure where to start.. so.. talk about today lor..
mornin.. i woke up at 7am.. suppose to go to sch by 8am for op rehersal..(ermm.. long story) however, it was only in the mornin i got to see clarence's msg tt he could not make it.. so..
cancelled.

could not go back to slp.. so i went online.. only few pathetic souls were online.. of cuz la.. early mornin 7am leh.. now holiday somemore.. think ppl so free meh.. had my breakfast.. and continued to surf friendster.

mummy came back from fetchin my big bro to sch and i had breakfast for the second time wif her..(tt's how i got my size..haha) i wanted to search for jobs initially and i got approval.. however, when my mom noe tt my re-exams are comin.. she forbided me.
thn, i thought of being a camp instructor, ermm.. one mth maybe a few camps.. dun need everyday work, but then.. of cuz, my parents were against it and started to bombard me with reasons and naggin starts..i noe i'll nvr be able to fight back.. im to filial piety to do so.. haha..so.. i started to cry lor..

thn.. more thoughts flow in and i cried even harder.. i seldom cry one leh.. but recently, my mood has really gone down.. not really me.. haiz..

i was told yesterday by mengyean tt we could go back canoein.. but tis thought really make me very confused.. i wan to go back.. but i've to think of the consequences.. i really had the thought of suicidin as i felt tt the things which im doin now.. i dun feel happy.. they're wat my parents wan.. not me.. i couldn do wat i wan..

so.. i started lookin at blogs and i started one myself even though i used to sae it was a hassle.. it was quite troublesome la.. but.. dun think i'll put everything down... if not ppl will sae i damn lorso.. hehe.. got the blog.. found the first skin and i had to leave to fetch my grandparents from cruise..

my two bros decided to act stupid and they drew a plank card and waited at the arrival waving tt piece of paper.. ok.. details quite stupid la.. after tt.. we had to squeeze 11 ppl into a honda odessey.. haha.. my aunt's family and us.. hehe.. ok..

thn.. came home.. and dashed to the comp.. found this skin.. but doesn really match my theme.. haha.. anyway.. think it's quite long le.. haha..byes!!

hi.. tryin tis new thing.. which kinda blew me away.. well.. here's my blog.. the skin ermm.. no comments will try it again.. thk you jin yan and cecilia for advising.. and.. ermm.. still tryin my best to get it done.. blog again later..

ciaoz..

tryin